I AM. . .

When I gave birth to my son February of 2004 it was bitter cold.  The night he was born snow fell and covered the city in white.  It came as a perfect polarity, balancing the fire I felt within.  I had been changed, transformed, though it would be years before I would find words for what I knew then in my unfurled bones, my blood that covered the sheets, my skin pressed warm against my newborn baby’s skin, all wrinkled and soft.

I entered pregnancy and birth having been a doula for two years where I witnessed birth in its power and pain, its unpredictable nature and inexplicable grace.  As a pregnant doula I “knew”.  I knew the stages of labor, “what to expect,” the helpful comfort measures and technicalities of medical support.  And as such, I can say that this knowing had to ultimately be left behind.  This was not a disappointment but a gift, for what one knows in the head is of a different nature than what is known through initiation.  While in labor I had to forget what I knew so I could be present to the moments unfolding, to let go of managing my birth so as to encounter my own body and psyche as I passed through the alchemic fire, coming out the other side to my son and my new self.  I carry this memory in my cells.  It speaks in my life still, reminds me of who I am, the power and love at my center, and, in this, way, I am born again and again.

I bring to my work as a doula and childbirth mentor my own experience of giving birth, not as a template for others to follow but as an awareness of birth as a journey, a rite of passage, an experience of the whole self.  As every woman and man are unique so too will their birth as mother and father be its own process and journey.  I honor this and find here great freedom, delight, wonder and power.  To be whole is to live in awareness, awake to ourselves and the world: the stirring inside the womb and the contraction that comes like crashing waves, the fears that can roam like tigers and the love that finds voice and touch, as tender as it is fierce.  To be invited into such intimate and visceral work, whether as companion, doula, mentor, witness, or supporter – this an honor and privilege.

In addition to being a doula and Birthing From Within Childbirth Mentor, I am a wife to my husband of ten years, Todd, a mother to my son Leo, a writer and reader, sister and friend, coffee drinker and dreamer, skilled in Soduko and cooking soup.

MY EXPERIENCE

I received my doula training at Seattle Midwifery School and became a certified doula through Doulas of North America.  I have been practicing as a doula since 2000 and have supported birth is a variety of settings and situations.

I received my Childbirth Education training with Birthing From Within and studied under Pam England, midwife and psychologist, the writer and creator of Birthing From Within.  I am currently a Birthing From Within Mentor and have been teaching childbirth classes since 2006.